So...I'll start off by doing something that I normally never do....asking a question first. How many of us have ever been in a relationship where the other person wronged you? I mean, it felt like it was an INTENTIONAL act of just blatantly doing you wrong. Now, lemme stop right here and post my disclaimer here. I feel like in the demise of every relationship, BOTH parties play a role. To me, it's simple....it was either your actions or your reactions that contribute to the end. You may not have been the one doing wrong, but sometimes it's our reactions to the wrong actions performed that contributes to the breakdown. Is that too deep?? Yeah, you're right, it is. So I'll "go in" on that thought some more in a later post.
Sorry, I got sidetracked there for a moment. Anyhoo, sometimes no matter how hard it is to accept, you have to realize that you were the recipient of someone who wronged you and who absolutely did not care that they did so. This can be a hard pill to swallow. Especially if you have put your all, including some borrowed, in the relationship and you still came out on the receiving end of hurt and deception. You can wrestle with the thoughts and questions in your mind, as some of us do, about how could someone hurt you. Or furthermore, how could you sometimes allow it(remember I went off on a tangent about the dual cause of a relationship breakdown, I know, I know, please forgive me).
The truth is, sometimes it's best to not even try to pick at or decipher the situation. Some people can go through relationships with their sole interest in mind. They have no concern for your feelings or your wants. They have one goal, to feed their desires. Now, for someone like myself who absolutely loves to love on people, nurture them and exhort them, this can be a very confusing thing to try to understand. What I've come to proclaim is this, like one of my favorite lyricists, the great Rakim, use to spit, "Don't sweat the technique!"
It's not your job to try to figure out why the person did what they did. However you should hold yourself accountable to recognizing the actions of wrong doing and counteract by moving on. Who knows why people do what they do? Some are hurt and may have an insensitivity to hurting other people. Some believe that it's just a game and the object of the game is to hurt others before they get a chance to hurt you. Last but not least, some people just don't care. With all the individuals that I listed, it can be a technique to THEIR madness. Whatever it may be, it's not for you to figure out. Your job is to protect your heart and gain the lesson that needed to be taught in it all. A lot of times, this may take some painful self exploration. In the end, however it's worth it. It's more valuable to yourself and beneficial than to try to pick or ponder on the other person's technique and reasons for their actions,. Just move on! If you've gained all the tools and knowledge that you needed to gain from the experience, I gurantee the next time may not be so painful.....